Dreams

What keeps you from following your dreams? What do you need to feel passionate about what you do?
Once upon a time I dreamed of having a job where I did accounting. I imagined being a QuickBooks expert and running an office. Four years ago, a very emotionally painful experience caused me to enter therapy and begin the work that I needed to fulfill that dream. Within 6 months, I was living that dream. I saw a huge increase in my standard of living and felt satisfied beyond my wildest imaginings. Cut to present and I'm feeling completely unfulfilled and wishing for more. What changed?

Why am I no longer satisfied?

I am experiencing fear. I feel like I'm not good enough for anything more and in fact, I've convinced myself that I'm a fraud for thinking I can have the position I hold, even though I perform well. I'm fearful to step out into new territory and to pursue a new dream because I worry about financial security and failure.

I feel devalued. When I transferred to Los Angeles from Rhode Island, I was unaware of the new expectations that would be associated with my job. In addition to my role handling accounting and business office matters, I was expected to act as receptionist which was incredibly time consuming and kept me from fulfilling my other duties to my normal high standards. I became increasingly frustrated and felt that my work was not valued and had to walk a tight rope over the abyss of not meeting the expectations of my boss in Providence and the expectations of my boss in LA. I became master of doing just enough to keep both parties from being unhappy with my job performance, all the while feeling like a total failure.

I'm bored. I do the same tasks day in and day out. I know how to do them in my sleep. I crave adventure and excitement.

From this careful examination, I've learned that in order to feel passion for what I do, whether it be what I'm working on presently or chasing a dream, I have to have three things.
First, I need to banish fear - believing fully and completely that my heart is guiding me in the right direction and that I have the skills I need to perform the tasks at hand. Second, I need to feel valued. I can't count on someone else to provide me with that sense of value. It's up to me to recognize that if I'm choosing to do something right now, it is the right thing and therefore, it has value. Third, I need to be challenged. Can I learn something new in my job? Absolutely! So why do I languish in boredom?

This triad keeps me doing the same thing day after day and feeling like I'm dead inside. Despairing that I'll never fulfill my hopes and dreams.

I'm making a commitment to combat what keeps me from feeling passion. I will experience the sheer joy of a child. The energy that keeps a child in motion from the time their eyes pop open until the time they close.  Why is a child so full of excitement and boundless energy? Because they are fearless, because they have no worries that what they do isn't of value and they have so much to discover. A world of wonder. We live in it and there is still so much more to be discovered! What can we do today to tempt our inner child to play?